Planning for Death

What you need to make arrangements for before you die

This information really applies to everyone, but it’s particularly relevant to people who are facing a terminal disease. Your next of kin, or whomever is going to be carrying out your last requests, is going to be grieving and vulnerable. Please don’t make it hard for them. This post will certainly not cover all possible issues that need to be planned for, but I will include the issues I see most often. I highly recommend that you consult a guide for end of life planning. There’s about a million online. The one from The National Institute on Aging is pretty good. If you’d like to buy a workbook so that there’s an easily accessible place to find all the information at once, I like this one and this one from Amazon. There’s about a million workbooks too, though, so pick one that seems like it will be easy for you to use.

Funeral Planning

The two most important questions when you’re planning for your funeral is what you want and what you can afford. The funeral industry is outright predatory in many ways, in large part because very few people are in a mental space that allows for reasoned decisions to be made when they’re interacting with the funeral industry. Some funeral homes are very good, and they’re very devoted to helping families make the best possible choices in a difficult time. Some are insanely predatory and will use your family’s grief to get them to bankrupt themselves. I can’t recommend enough that you educate yourself on your legal rights regarding funeral planning. The National Funeral Consumers Alliance is a reputable organization that can help you navigate the muddy waters of funeral planning. I also highly recommend reading Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love, but you should keep in mind that it may be out of date in some ways due to the fact that the author died a couple of years ago. It’s still an excellent book, and it really helps to prepare you for common predatory schemes.

Body donation is an excellent option if you have limited financial resources, but it should be discussed with your family ahead of time. Once you’ve donated your body to an organization, you really don’t have any control over what’s done with it. It may be used to help medical students learn how to do autopsies, as a literal crash test dummy, or for Department of Defense experiments to test explosives and ammunition. If you want to be absolutely certain what’s going to be done with your remains, you can be kind of picky about what organization you donate it to and try to select an organization that aligns with your values. One frequently overlooked option is organizations that train cadaver dogs, which help find the remains of people who die in natural disasters and/or help locate the remains of crime victims.

If you’re interested in pursuing body donation, please remember that this needs to be done and planned for in advance. I’ve encountered a couple of organizations who were willing to accept a body donation after the patient died when there was no one willing to take responsibility for the body, but not all of them will, and there are a lot of restrictions on donations. Any transmittable disease at time of death, especially blood-borne diseases, will usually stop a body donation from occurring.

From the perspective of the hospice nurse, we don’t make any judgement about your choices for end of life arrangements, but we do need to know what you want and what arrangements have been made. It’s an absolute nightmare when people die without arrangements, especially if they don’t have someone willing to make arrangements after the fact.

Legal & Financial Issues

This category is exactly what is sounds like. If you have sufficient assets that you’re going to have some money left over when the bills are all paid, or if you have items that you want to go to a specific individual after you die, it’s worth the time and money to hire a lawyer that specializes in estate planning so that you have all your ducks in a row. If you can’t get a lawyer for some reason, you can find templates for the most urgently needed forms on the internet.

Last Will & Testament: There are some very important questions that you need to ask yourself regarding your will. Some of these questions may not be relevant in your state, and some of them may not be relevant to you. The most important things are to make sure that your will clearly spells out your final wishes and that it’s in compliance with state laws. If you’re not going to be using a lawyer, I like the last will and testament section from eForms because it has links to individual states with information that you need for that state.

• When is the last time you updated your will?

• Is everyone mentioned in your will still alive and still someone that you want to give part of your assets to?

• Does your will account for outstanding debts?

• Have you named an executor you can trust to follow your instructions?

• Do you specify who is supposed to get specific family heirlooms?

• Do you explicitly name people that you want to be excluded from your estate?

• Do you specify who is responsible for legal fees if the will is challenged in probate court?

Outstanding Debts vs Assets: Simply put, you need to make sure that you’re leaving behind enough money to pay your final expenses. This includes any hospital bills, funeral expenses, outstanding bills for your home, etc. This may or may not be possible, but you should try to make sure it’s taken care of as much as possible. Your executor should ideally be added to your bank accounts and credit cards to make sure that they can take care of getting everything closed out.

Get The Documentation Together: You need to gather all of the documents your loved one is going to need and make sure that they’re available in a place they will be easy to locate. You may even consider giving the executor of your estate the documents in advance if end of life is going to be an issue sooner rather than later. This isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’s what I can think of right now. Basically, any piece of documentation you’ve ever needed to provide to a bank or a government agency, or anything that someone would need in order to know what your assets and liabilities are should be included. Please remember that the executor of your estate will almost certainly be grieving when they actually need all of this stuff. Don’t make it hard for them to find it.

• Your completed end-of-life planning workbook (if applicable)

• Copy of your most recent driver’s license or state ID

• Social Security Card

• Medicare Card

• Medicaid Card (if applicable)

• Last Will & Testament

• DD-214 (military discharge papers, if applicable)

• Life insurance policies

• Funeral planning paperwork, particularly if you have pre-paid arrangments

• Copy of your last tax return

• Body donation paperwork (if applicable)

• Paperwork for any outstanding loans or bills that you are aware of

• Bank statements for all open bank accounts

• Statements for all open credit cards

• Deeds for any real estate you own

• Titles for any vehicles you own

The Ones You Leave Behind

The most important arrangements to make are the ones that don’t directly involve you.

Pets: If you have pets, you need to figure out what will happen to them when you die. Obviously, no one wants to have their pets suffer, so it’s important to figure this out in advance. There’s usually a family member or friend who will agree to take care of them when you’re gone, but it gets complicated when you have a pet horse or mountain lion rather than a dog, cat, or fish. Exotic pets can get expensive fast, and people are frequently nervous about them. If it’s going to be expensive to take care of your pet, you need to make provisions for that. You may even need to find an organization willing to take the animal, such as a wildlife rescue.

Children or dependent adults: If you have someone dependent on you, you need to have arrangements made for their care long before those arrangements are needed. You need to get a lawyer involved to make sure that your dependents are cared for and provided for, and you need to have identified someone you trust to provide that care.

I’m sure I forgot some important things in this post. Please feel free to leave any questions or suggestions in the comments or in the chat.

Note about this post: There are no affiliate links in this post. I am receiving no money from any of the authors of any book that was linked. I also don’t know the authors.